I Really Didn't Want to Deploy A Virgin

Yesterday I got word that my unit is deploying to Kandahar Province. I'm 18, from a small town in Kansas and have never been laid. Never even kissed a girl in fact. So on the brink of heading to a godforsaken country to die for freedom, I decided I had to get laid. As luck would have it, my options were Carol here and the gay guy in my unit. Her being a devout Christian and saving herself for marriage were just added shit smears on the sandwich of my life. If I don't die, I'll just have to pay a buddy to tell her I did, wearing his dress uniform and the whole nine. Anyhow, I'm about to get some.