I Don't Know Any Of These Books

God damn fancy machines! Where is the card catalog? I'm trying to find a book on oiling hardwood drawer knobs, but all this thing will bring up are pictures of naked whores and cocks! I don't want books about cocks! Leave me alone!

Yes, It's Me. I'm At The Airport

Chuck's arrival in Miami didn't just mark the beginning of a fantastic vacation. It was his "Take A Walk on The Wild Side" moment. Only hours earlier, he had broken the news to his wife by shaving his legs and boldly applying her lipstick. He was determined to start a new life with his friends from the chat room, but as he waited in the empty terminal, he began to worry they didn't feel the same way.