Once Was Quirky, Twice is Abuse

The first time I saw this family I felt the freedom and whimsy blowing through their hair like a breeze cutting through a city alley, picking up hints of booze and urine and whipping them into a festive aroma. However,seeing their honest commitment to the look terrifies my soul on behalf of the young one. At least orphanages have barbers and baseball caps.

Hawaiian Christmas, Eat Your Hearts Out

Yep, flew the family out to the Big Island for the holidays. I wanted them to have a memorable Christmas, but moreso I wanted show everyone how successful I've been this year. Money to burn, that's where I'm at. My sales led the team, and my investments all turned profits. Now the icing on the cake, a decadent vacation and a family photo to drool over. I just hope they let us into the luau.