I'd Estimate He's 25,000 Years Old

In analysing the layers and swirl patterns of the geological formation growing from this man's head, you can estimate his age at around 25 thousand years. Though hair growth rates and hygiene could impact those numbers giving our estimate a +- of about 25 thousand years. Regardless of the age, that sweet mullett belongs in a museum.

Once Was Quirky, Twice is Abuse

The first time I saw this family I felt the freedom and whimsy blowing through their hair like a breeze cutting through a city alley, picking up hints of booze and urine and whipping them into a festive aroma. However,seeing their honest commitment to the look terrifies my soul on behalf of the young one. At least orphanages have barbers and baseball caps.