You Think Its Easy Being a Pen Mascot?

I'd ask the Lord why a pen brand even needs a mascot, but I fear I'd trigger my own undoing. Though it might even be for the best, seeing as how I live on this cot in the back room. "Shut up Ma! I'm important. I'm a trademarked symbol!"
"Oh no one even knows what you are!"
No, they don't. Not even I.