Lord, Grant Me Strength... Super Strength

As your humble servant, I ask only for you to grant me the powers of the legendary Superman. I shall use them to combat evil around the world, upholding truth and justice, and sometimes scoring with chicks.

Funny, But It Sends The Wrong Message

If the Church doesn't take itself seriously, how can it expect me to do so? Fear of the Lord, that's how to drive the sheep through the gates of heaven. Crap like this is why I'm wandering aimlessly to Hell. This, heroin, and underaged prostitutes.